Like Fur & Feathers

Love can feel like salvation; love can feel like a curse. It all depends on luck, the level of your personal growth and if you’re in love with Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde.

Everything is here, but nothing is like it was supposed to be. I roll my eyes, frustration and melancholy dripping into my thoughts like a sticky syrup. It’s not the nice sweetness, but the almost unbearable one. Life could be so beautiful. Things could be so easy. Growth is what I aim for, yours, mine, ours.

All I want is love that feels like soft fur and weightless feathers. Love that goes deep beneath my skin and warms my heart. Love that feels light, warm and caring, without claws ripping my flesh apart. I want to feel safe, to show my good and bad sides without the fear of punishment, rejection and shame. In return, I will not judge, observe with love in my eyes and be honest and genuine.

I feel tired. I cried enough tears, healed wound after wound, and built heavy armour when confronted with violence, toxic behaviour, abuse and narcissism. Oh, you countless sleepless nights and tears I cried! You might say a lot of wasted energy. I don’t see it that way.

I believe there is a reason we are where we are, and challenges are chances for personal growth. Sometimes we need to fail several times until we can rise, as frustrating as it is. I discovered some abysses I wish I wouldn’t have seen, but I feel grateful for the impressions, knowing that I can master a lot more than I thought and even far more than people imagine.

If you are from the more aggressive kind, you could see me as weak. I might appear calm, adaptive and resilient, but don’t take it as a fault. It’s a strength to stay loving and peaceful and not give up dreaming. Inner peace is a force that is far more significant than screaming at people and hurting them intentionally. For me, true love excludes the desire to break the beloved one. Love wants to bathe the object of devotion in fluffy plush toys and make that person feel happy and cosy as often as possible. Love here is my door. It’s wide open for you.